Just.pretty.rude

MY FiCTiON STORiES

In love with not being in love…

Chp.1

My mind often stands in the way of things, such as love. I often trick myself into thinking that everything will work out for the best. When in reality it really isn’t the picture my mind has painted. I don’t think me and love can get along. I really am starting to believe we are not meant for each other, love always seems to mistreat me. I am so tired of watching all my friends and family find friends, happiness, and love. Have I been cursed for something I did in the past, is god testing me, am I a loser and just don’t know it. Something has to be the reason that I am in love with not being in love…

I woke up. I knew my day would start out normal. I check my phone and sat up to look out the window. The sun was out and I could tell that it was cold because of the fog on the window. I got out the bed and proceeded into the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I looked up into the mirror, I saw my brown eyes. My dark hair with light brown highlights. I ran my hair thru my shoulder length hair and stared at myself once more.

All I wanted to know was why wasn’t this girl as happy as the outside may appear to everyone. Why was I turning into this girl who’s life was being built on unhappiness and why was she ok with it.

I came out the bathroom, grabbed my phone and went downstairs. I looked into my refrigerator and grab some orange juice. I sat on the sofa turned the TV on, when my phone rung. I answered the phone. “what” I said. “Is that the way you answer the phone?” a familiar voice said as they laughed.

“ Yes it is, problem?”

“No, I know you mean no harm, So I was calling to see if you wanted to grab something to eat with me?”

“Sure, I can what time?”

“Now, Get dressed, ill be there in ten minutes” he said as he hung up.

I went back up stairs showered, through on a little make up, and a casual outfit. I then received a text saying “IM OUTSIDE.”

I went out side and got in the car.

“ So where are we going Travis?” I asked.

“I am taking you to your favorite place” he said with a smile on his face. I didn’t even return the smile I just smirked at him. Travis was a nice guy, only thing about him was he was always busy doing something. I know he likes me but I don’t think I like him in that same way. Maybe I don’t think I am good enough for him. At sometimes I feel like I am not good enough for anyone.

We pulled up to the restaurant. We got out and went into the restaurant and got seated.

“ So what’s been goin on with you man, you havent been the same for a while now?” he said as he reached for my hand and began rubbing it “ what do you mean?” I said as I looked down and slowly moved my hand away.

“ You havent been around people much, no one has seen or heard from you?”

“ I just wanted to be alone, I guess”

“ No you don’t, you just think that’s your way of not dealing with things by running away” He said shaking his head.

The waiter came over to take our orders. I began to stare into travis’s face until he caught me staring.

“ Are you going to order?” He said.

“ Oh..Yea.. I am, Can I have the…” I was cut of by travis, I gave him a confused

“ Chicken alfredo, extra alfredo sauce, and garlic bread, with a sweet tea” He Said and smiled at me.

“ How you knew I was going to order that?” I asked.

“ Because, you always order that” he smiled.

“Will that be all for you all” The waiter asked. “Yes” He told her as he picked up the menu’s and handed them to her.

We finished out meals and Travis drove me back home. “ Can I come in for a minute?” He asked. I sat there and thought about it for a minute and assured him that it was ok for him to come up. We walked in, he sat on the sofa and turned on the TV.

“ You want something to drink?” I offered.

“No I want you to come over and talk to me” He said.

“ Why do you want me to talk to you so bad?”
“why don’t you want to talk to me?”
“ Its not that I don’t want to talk to you, you always ask me is there something wrong with me” I said

“ Come on, Mili there is something wrong with you. You use to be so full of life, always out there. Having fun with your friends, or at least smiling.”

I started thinking maybe he was right I have put myself into this emotionless place that had got to comfortable in and it was starting to show. I just couldn’t deal with other people problem and mines. I just needed to get away.

I then went around and sat on the sofa beside him. “ Look Travis, I am fine. I just need time to sort my life out. Ok?” I said with a sincere look on my face. He smiled and said “ Well Im always here for you, even when you don’t want me to be.”

I looked at Travis in his eyes. I could tell in his eyes that he really meant what he said but my heart would not let it enter into my mind. I could only began to think that he was only saying these things to make me feel better. At this point I didn’t care. It felt good to hear those words. Whether he meant them or not.

All I could do was stare at Travis, while he stared at me. Then he leaned in and his lips touched mines. I felt a sign of relief release fro within me. It felt as though I needed him to kiss me to refuel me. I pulled away. I looked at him and got up and walked away.

“See there you go, running away” He said

“ Im not running away, but you can let yourself out” I said as I walked into my room.

**to be continued…..